Its kinda late right now, but I am surprisingly still very awake, so decided to do some blogging after a really long time. Finally, 14 weeks have passed, today's the day I officially quit teaching.
I was still rather dreading to go to school today, cause I wasn't sure whether I would be happy or upset. My first lesson was with 2D, my CME class. They were rather nice, and they actually gave me a card, which was really nice of them to do so, considering the fact that I only teach them 2 periods a week. Really thoughtful of them.
The real surprise was during the third period (my free period) where I was dragged to 2C, although I have already let Ms Lim take over the class during that period so that the students could complete their Lit test early instead of having to stay back after school to sit for it.
Oh yah, and before that, Aileen came. Kinda surprised she came, cause din hear that she was coming. She gave me this really huge thingy that she made by herself. I call that a thingy cause there isn't a better word to describe that. First, its huge. Like really huge. Den its like a card. And it has pages inside. Then there's a calendar inside the pages, plus her pictures. Anyway, its just hard to describe, but its really cool, cause she actually made the effort to try and remember all that had happened for the past 3 months or so. Really very sweet of her. But she had to buck up on her art summore. The stuck-on alphabets started dropping off within the first hour. Just like Meiying's card, where the fish (yeah, that popular fish in school) sticker fell off soon after I've read the card.
Back to the cool surprise. When I stepped in to 2C, I was really shocked, cause I din expect them to create such a big party. There were tidbits, drinks and a really tasty blackforest 2kg cake (which I heard was almost $50) as well. I was presented a really cute poster from the class, which was really very well done! I have to frame it up somehow and hang it somewhere. Maybe under the bed. Hahah, just kiddin lah! ;)Following that, Joelyn and gang actually gave me a big heart shaped cookie that they made by themselves the previous day. It was really thoughtful of them, since they must have spent quite some time doing that. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE COOKIE WAS TASTY! It was very nua(3) nua(3) and lau(4) huang(1), and it tasted kinda spoilt. And it was broken to pieces by the time I saw it. But of course, what's important is the effort, and I am really touched by that. So next time, just buy me cookies can already, cheaper and tastier.
I was touched then, but more of happy than emo. Then there was the usual candle blowing (dunno for wad) and the cake cutting and of course the mandatory cream on face act. Everything got on fine until I started to make my silly speech. Damn paiseh, almost cried when I made the speech, cause as I was speaking, all the old memories started flooding back. Like when Ashwynn and Kent gave me so much trouble in the beginning, Hazel always sleeping and not paying attention in my class, 2C singing me birthday songs, funny screenshots of Cheryl Fox during News in Class, Sentosa trips with them, Nurul winning the EL Oratorical Competition and more. I felt like I have gone through so much with them, although it was only 4 months. I really can't bear to leave them, but I have my personal reasons for quitting, and I had to stick to my decision, although I can't help but ponder whether I have made the right decision to quit.
Luckily I din cry in the end, cause Jerick, Shawn and gang kept coming from 2A to kacheow me, so the irritation in me overtook my sadness.
But when it was time to take photos, I noticed a couple of students crying. That was when I could not take it alr and I started to tear as well. At first it was still just a bit of tears, but when I went to 2A for lesson and started to talk to them I really started sobbing uncontrollably. Cause I knew that I wasn't teaching them well and I knew that a lot of them disliked English because of me and I never really did anything to make them learn. I had long adopted the defeatist attitude towards them, and I really felt very bad about it.
To my surprise, a lot of them started to quieten down and listen to what I had to say. And then tears started to flow from the students as well. In fact, by the time I had finished talking, more than half the class was sobbing already. And I myself was rather useless as well, being unable to stop my own crying.
Some came up to me and told me that I taught well. I hope that they really think so, but I just feel that I did not put in enough effort. If only I did something more. If only I just tried another approach. If only I just devoted more time to them. Maybe things would have been different. But its all too late. My only hope is that my students will understand the importance of English and start to learn from this day on.
Charmaine came up to me and apologised to me for cutting my hair in Term 1. To me, that was the best thing that I have ever received since I starting teaching in Nan Chiau. More than the celebration. More than my salary. I was really very touched by her apology, because I could see that she was really very sincere about the apology and I hope that this would humble her and mould her into the good person that I have always seen inside her. Charmaine, I have never borne a grudge against you. Whenever I shout at you or scold you, it's not because I dun like you. Its because I want you to understand the severity of the matter, be it not doing your homework or talking back to me. I dun mind if you scold me or call me vulgar names, because I know that you dun mean it when you say that. But you know that you have a short temper, and other people may not like what you say. I scold you so that you will know the consequence. It may not be the best method, but at least I tried. And I can see your improvement as the days progressed. And I am really grateful for your apology. I will carry that apology with me for the rest of my life, because I know that I have made a little difference in your life, and no amount of money can come close to having that kind of feeling. And to Wenli as well, you dun have to apologise, you are one of the best pupils in my class. You are such a loyal friend and a kindhearted person. You dun have to apologise for anything. To me, you are the best student any teacher can have. I am really glad to have taught you for the past 14 weeks.
Anyway, back to the topic. I was tearing so badly and 2A was crying and 2C was crying that the entire corridor outside was a commotion. Pupils from other classes were peering in to see what happened, and a lot of students were crowding outside my 2 classes. People were giving out tissues everywhere. It was really quite a scene. Hahah, and to think that I said I wun cry on my last day. On Aileen's last day, her 2D students were crying and I thought that was rather exaggerated. Now when its my turn, its even worse. Almost 50 mins of tears from me and my 2 classes. My hands were all numb from all the crying. And when the 2 classes greeted me goodbye for the last time, I was really very upset. No more strolling into class and turning off the fans and making students stand up and sit down repeatedly. No more making Nicholas and Ashwynn sit beside the dustbin. No more locking 2A in class for recess. No more making my classes put their fingers on their lips and pulling their ears. No more bickering with Kent. No more acting from Wee Kiat. No more stopping of fights. That's it. Nothing more.
Argh. Starting to feel emo again.
Once again, I am really glad to have taught my 2A, 2C, 2D, 2E and 2F. If given the chance to teach again, I would not want to change any of my classes. You are the best I've had! Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity to teach you guys and I have learnt a lot out of NCHS as well.
Thank you.
I was still rather dreading to go to school today, cause I wasn't sure whether I would be happy or upset. My first lesson was with 2D, my CME class. They were rather nice, and they actually gave me a card, which was really nice of them to do so, considering the fact that I only teach them 2 periods a week. Really thoughtful of them.
The real surprise was during the third period (my free period) where I was dragged to 2C, although I have already let Ms Lim take over the class during that period so that the students could complete their Lit test early instead of having to stay back after school to sit for it.
Oh yah, and before that, Aileen came. Kinda surprised she came, cause din hear that she was coming. She gave me this really huge thingy that she made by herself. I call that a thingy cause there isn't a better word to describe that. First, its huge. Like really huge. Den its like a card. And it has pages inside. Then there's a calendar inside the pages, plus her pictures. Anyway, its just hard to describe, but its really cool, cause she actually made the effort to try and remember all that had happened for the past 3 months or so. Really very sweet of her. But she had to buck up on her art summore. The stuck-on alphabets started dropping off within the first hour. Just like Meiying's card, where the fish (yeah, that popular fish in school) sticker fell off soon after I've read the card.
Back to the cool surprise. When I stepped in to 2C, I was really shocked, cause I din expect them to create such a big party. There were tidbits, drinks and a really tasty blackforest 2kg cake (which I heard was almost $50) as well. I was presented a really cute poster from the class, which was really very well done! I have to frame it up somehow and hang it somewhere. Maybe under the bed. Hahah, just kiddin lah! ;)Following that, Joelyn and gang actually gave me a big heart shaped cookie that they made by themselves the previous day. It was really thoughtful of them, since they must have spent quite some time doing that. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE COOKIE WAS TASTY! It was very nua(3) nua(3) and lau(4) huang(1), and it tasted kinda spoilt. And it was broken to pieces by the time I saw it. But of course, what's important is the effort, and I am really touched by that. So next time, just buy me cookies can already, cheaper and tastier.
I was touched then, but more of happy than emo. Then there was the usual candle blowing (dunno for wad) and the cake cutting and of course the mandatory cream on face act. Everything got on fine until I started to make my silly speech. Damn paiseh, almost cried when I made the speech, cause as I was speaking, all the old memories started flooding back. Like when Ashwynn and Kent gave me so much trouble in the beginning, Hazel always sleeping and not paying attention in my class, 2C singing me birthday songs, funny screenshots of Cheryl Fox during News in Class, Sentosa trips with them, Nurul winning the EL Oratorical Competition and more. I felt like I have gone through so much with them, although it was only 4 months. I really can't bear to leave them, but I have my personal reasons for quitting, and I had to stick to my decision, although I can't help but ponder whether I have made the right decision to quit.
Luckily I din cry in the end, cause Jerick, Shawn and gang kept coming from 2A to kacheow me, so the irritation in me overtook my sadness.
But when it was time to take photos, I noticed a couple of students crying. That was when I could not take it alr and I started to tear as well. At first it was still just a bit of tears, but when I went to 2A for lesson and started to talk to them I really started sobbing uncontrollably. Cause I knew that I wasn't teaching them well and I knew that a lot of them disliked English because of me and I never really did anything to make them learn. I had long adopted the defeatist attitude towards them, and I really felt very bad about it.
To my surprise, a lot of them started to quieten down and listen to what I had to say. And then tears started to flow from the students as well. In fact, by the time I had finished talking, more than half the class was sobbing already. And I myself was rather useless as well, being unable to stop my own crying.
Some came up to me and told me that I taught well. I hope that they really think so, but I just feel that I did not put in enough effort. If only I did something more. If only I just tried another approach. If only I just devoted more time to them. Maybe things would have been different. But its all too late. My only hope is that my students will understand the importance of English and start to learn from this day on.
Charmaine came up to me and apologised to me for cutting my hair in Term 1. To me, that was the best thing that I have ever received since I starting teaching in Nan Chiau. More than the celebration. More than my salary. I was really very touched by her apology, because I could see that she was really very sincere about the apology and I hope that this would humble her and mould her into the good person that I have always seen inside her. Charmaine, I have never borne a grudge against you. Whenever I shout at you or scold you, it's not because I dun like you. Its because I want you to understand the severity of the matter, be it not doing your homework or talking back to me. I dun mind if you scold me or call me vulgar names, because I know that you dun mean it when you say that. But you know that you have a short temper, and other people may not like what you say. I scold you so that you will know the consequence. It may not be the best method, but at least I tried. And I can see your improvement as the days progressed. And I am really grateful for your apology. I will carry that apology with me for the rest of my life, because I know that I have made a little difference in your life, and no amount of money can come close to having that kind of feeling. And to Wenli as well, you dun have to apologise, you are one of the best pupils in my class. You are such a loyal friend and a kindhearted person. You dun have to apologise for anything. To me, you are the best student any teacher can have. I am really glad to have taught you for the past 14 weeks.
Anyway, back to the topic. I was tearing so badly and 2A was crying and 2C was crying that the entire corridor outside was a commotion. Pupils from other classes were peering in to see what happened, and a lot of students were crowding outside my 2 classes. People were giving out tissues everywhere. It was really quite a scene. Hahah, and to think that I said I wun cry on my last day. On Aileen's last day, her 2D students were crying and I thought that was rather exaggerated. Now when its my turn, its even worse. Almost 50 mins of tears from me and my 2 classes. My hands were all numb from all the crying. And when the 2 classes greeted me goodbye for the last time, I was really very upset. No more strolling into class and turning off the fans and making students stand up and sit down repeatedly. No more making Nicholas and Ashwynn sit beside the dustbin. No more locking 2A in class for recess. No more making my classes put their fingers on their lips and pulling their ears. No more bickering with Kent. No more acting from Wee Kiat. No more stopping of fights. That's it. Nothing more.
Argh. Starting to feel emo again.
Once again, I am really glad to have taught my 2A, 2C, 2D, 2E and 2F. If given the chance to teach again, I would not want to change any of my classes. You are the best I've had! Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity to teach you guys and I have learnt a lot out of NCHS as well.
Thank you.
posted by seth at
1:27 AM
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