Starting to get acustomed to staying at home and doing nothing. Feels great actually, when you dun have any responsibilities. Watching a lot of tv programmes everyday. In fact, stayed up till 4am yesternight just to watch tv.

Just applied to join the Symphonic Winds yesterday. Hope I will get selected!! Oh man, haven played in a band for so long alr, hope they need a bass clarinetist!!

Wah, just came back from tuition. Damn tired. My student was as usual, trying to slack as much as possible; still tried to show me some mahjong movie lah. Almost screamed at him, but forgot that I am only a tuition teacher, and so constrained myself. But think he could see that I was getting mad, so he kept his laptop. Got free ride home after that. If not have to travel an hour from Tiong Bahru again.

Anyway, went to the Bird Park with Slutty today. It was fantabulous! Haven stepped into Jurong Bird Park for almost a decade already, and I really felt like a child when I went in. Except that if I were a child, I would not have to pay the ridiculous $40 entrance fee (which will allow me to enter Bird Park, Zoo and Night Safari once each within one month. Meaning that I will be gg to the Zoo and Night Safari in the coming weeks! Which is actually quite exciting, considering how much fun we had at the bird park.)

The bird park was huge! There was actually a waterfall inside. In fact, its the largest MAN-MADE waterfall in the entire world! Slutty and I was like damn stunned when we saw the waterfall. It was majestic (for a man-made one. And for us, who have not seen a real one before.) and simply breathtaking. We felt like we weren't in Singapore at all. It was just amazing!

And the lory loft was wonderful! I was standing right at the top of the canopy with so many lories and the view was gr8! Except halfway it started raining and I was almost attacked by the lories who all wanted to take shelter with me. Super scary.

And it was really terrifying when we were inside the rainforest enclosure, cause we were in the same cage as the birds, and when they started flying ard us and ambushing us, it was really frightening. I actually shouted a few times. Can't believe I was actually scared of birds. Hahah.

And towards the end it started raining, so we tried to get onto the panorail, which by right costs $5. Somehow or other, we managed to catch that for free, and it was so cool! We could look at the aerial view of the entire park and zoom in close to the birds as well. Lurve it!

We had so much fun that we stayed all the way till the closing hours.

Den we went for dinner at KFC.

Just got back home. Had a long day today. Started out by gg back to NC to pass to the class the remaining cards that I made and the class photo to pin on the notice board. After that, packed the last of my stuff and then treated Nurul, Ashwynn and Natasha to Swensons in Compasspoint.

Went to Tampines gym after than and then to Bugis to meet Hui Chuan. Den went to Serangoon for wuxiang and porridge with her and Jongie.

Tmr I am gg to watch omni movie and to the Bird Park with Slutty. So exciting! Really looking forward to that :)

Just came back from the fishing trip. So happy now, cause when I was in the sea, I seriously thought I wasn't going able to make it back to shore. In fact, I still feel my room bobbling about, like when I was on the ship.

I had to wake up at 5 plus in the morning so that I could reach Tampines at 7am. And effing Ziyi was late! Damn eff, but since he had a fever, shall not scold him too much. After that, met up with the rest of the people that I did not know. Ziyi was damn jian, cause he said there were a lot of cbs in the group, and when I went there, there were only 2 girls, and they were accompanied by their boyfriends. Still said can interact with them and make more friends. What a liar.

We sat on a bumboat and took around one hour to travel out to sea. Then we just stopped in the middle of nowhere, far from civilisation and started fishing in the sea. It was rather funny, cause we all din know how to fish, and were all very squirmish when using the live prawns as baits. And, the boat was VERY VERY jerky, so much so that I started getting sea sick. Not just me, of course. Most got sea sick, one even puked. And it was only at 9am. I wondered if I could survive till 5.30am.

Somehow I still managed to, and witnessed the capture of sharks, stingray, pufferfish, garoupa and other smaller fishes. And the weather was great! The sea was beautiful and peaceful and the sea breeze was cooling. There was no better way to relax already.

But of course, there was nothing better than to reach dry land again. Went for dinner after that and went back home. Nothing's better than home!

Din get through the interview today. So sad. Went all the way to Tanjong Pagar for my interview with Jobstreet for the position of a recruitment consultant. But in the end failed to make the cut. And the worst thing is, I think there were only 3 applicants, and he chose the other two! Damn sucky. He said he would call me up again if there are any future job offers. I think he just meant he dun wanna see me again. There goes my hope of being a recruitment consultant. Now I wished I had accepted the job offer at IMH to take care of mental patients.

Interestingly, my eyes did a double take on me as I was going home. When I was looking out from the bus, I thought I saw a surfer wearing a wetsuit and carrying a surfboard. It turned out to be an ah mah carrying an iron board.

Well anyway, I will be going fishing tmr with Ziyi and friends. So dreading it. One whole day of waiting, in a small boat, with 10 people, of whom I only know Ziyi, and Shawn, vaguely. And, I have to wake up at unearthy hours tomorrow.

How exciting.

After 1 whole afternoon of intense searching, I finally found Ziyi to watch 'Meet the Robinsons' with me at the very last minute, one hour before the show. Lucky for me, if not I would not hVE gone as well, wasting 2 tickets.

Frankly speaking, I did not expect the show to turn out this way. I thot it was just another typical animated movie, like The Incredibles or Madagascar of sorts. Or even the recent Penguin show, which I thot would have been unbearable if not for Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman lending their voices to the movie.

Anyway, it was out-of-my-expectations good, in a feel good and inspirational way. Surprisingly, it wasn't really very funny, but it was well thought (unlike Madagascar, or that penguin show, which is so insignificant that I can't even remember its name) and well executed. Which is crucial, because it shows that the movie is made for the STORYLINE, rather than to blatantly showcase the fantastic SKILLS of the ANIMATORS. This one has substance, not to mention stunning visuals.

There was even a 10 min footage of an old Walt Disney show! I was rather caught by surprise by that because I know I have watched this clip before and it kinda brought me back to my childhood life, where I was still blissfully ignorant of the harsh reality of life. Sweet moment.

Anyway, the movie was about a young boy who invented stuff and all. The show reminded me of my secondary school days where I was an inventor myself, and was even selected for this 6 month mentoring programme for young innovators. I came up with this really useful food cover cum tray design which won me a chance to present my idea in front of the entire NYP auditorium. Although I kinda screwed up the presentation when I said "Well, it protects the flies from the food!" instead of the other way round. How exciting.

Ziyi was damn effing lucky, cause he could 'freeload' the movie. And he still had lots to complain about. Why? Because it meant he could not eat porridge at home for dinner. Wad a shitass friend. Treat him still kena complain. But I am still glad he came and helped me get over it. Shitass friends, no matter how shitty, still comes in handy at times.

Oh and I am suddenly reminded of wad happened yesterday. Ziyi was saying that Shawn's father, being the Director of Prison, was photographed in the papers again. But Shawn's father shouldn't be surprised, cause he has xi(2) yi(3) wei(2) chang(2) already. Jongie, being hard on hearing due to the noisy environment, actually asked, "Huh, he si beh wad?"

And yesterday the three of us were playing Percussion Master at the arcade, and Jongie was damn funny, cause he hit the drums rather well and scored quite a high combo, except that he chose some CNY song, so there was the "dong dong dong chiang, dong dong dong chiang, dong dong dong chiang dong chiang dong chiang" melody going on. Its really hard to pretend to be cool when playing that song, even if it's hitting the drums. And he decided we would call him Jones instead of Jongie, after much deliberation (actually we got the name after we played "Doctor Jones" in the arcade on Percussion Master. Remember? "Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, calling Docter Jones. Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, get up now"..).Cause he felt Jongie was a rather disturbing name, and no one else in the world calls him that except for me and ziyi.

Another highlight for the day would be my students. They kinda rather prefer me to the new English teacher, which rather made my day, although I am not supposed to feel this way. But it's also rather embarrassing that they did not erase my words away on the board, meaning that Pan Lao Shi, Ms Ng, Mr Ng and Ms Lim would have read my writing. Gasp. Wonder how they will think of me now. Starting to get worried that my kids may not learn (or want to learn) anything for English. Bad. Hopefully the situation will turn round and something will work out between them.

Gonna finish up on my book right now. The book is about this girl working in a art gallery who became drawn to a very famous sculptor. Reminds me of the french movie I watched earlier about an elderly woman who was attracted to a young (like young-enough-to-be-her-son-young) doctor who liked to draw. Well, he reciprocated her love in the end. I know that cause they did it. Twice.

I am going to take out all my mouldy watercolour paints tomorrow.

Went back to school just now to pack up my stuff so that my replacement will have a clean table on Monday. While I was back, I decided to pop by 2A and 2C. The classrooms certainly seemed quiet and peaceful without them. But somehow, I dun seem to like peaceful and quiet atmospheres anymore. Maybe I've indeed been changed by my students. When I was inside the class just now, I wished the class would be rowdy and noisy like always. It's so typical of me, only cherishing what I had after I have given up.

Memories kept flooding back while I was inside the class. Like when I wasn't prepared for the lesson, I would just make them do journals or read newspapers or flash News In Class. And when I see students using handphones and listening to music, I would turn a blind eye as I was just too exhausted to scold them and also that I know they will not disturb the rest when they are playing with their gadgets. And when I was marking journals, I would just read the last paragraph or so and then write in some comments. While I was in class just now packing the journals, I wished I had taken time to read those journals to get to know my students better. Why hadn't I just spent some time to bond with my students more. Now that I no longer have the opportunity to do so, I want to see them and play with them and talk to them.

I always thought that I can learn nothing from teaching, unlike my friends who are working in banks drafting contracts and calculating financial gains. How wrong I am. I have gained much more than my friends. I made positive impact on my student's lives (hopefully). People have learnt from me, be it curriculum work or life lessons. I am still very touched now by the fact that there were so many students who cried on Friday. It shows that my 14 weeks spent in school was not for nothing. In this way, I have gained much more than any of my friends. How can financial accounting and contract drafting ever be more important to improving other's lives?

It was then when I was in the classrooms that I started crying again. Because I know that I will never be able to step into their class again to teach my normal classes again. When I was in class, I was always strict and wanted to keep my students quiet, because I wanted to teach my lessons and let them learn. I was always thinking about improving their grades only. If time could reverse, I would have interacted with them more and find out more about their lives, rather than be so result oriented. Now I wun have the chance again. I just hope that they will like their new teacher and do well for their English.

Dun wanna blog already. Silly me, crying again. Very emotional these 2 days. Hahah, now that I have so much time on hand, shall do something fun. My tuition kid left me a copy of WOW, shall try to find that and see if it's fun.

Its kinda late right now, but I am surprisingly still very awake, so decided to do some blogging after a really long time. Finally, 14 weeks have passed, today's the day I officially quit teaching.

I was still rather dreading to go to school today, cause I wasn't sure whether I would be happy or upset. My first lesson was with 2D, my CME class. They were rather nice, and they actually gave me a card, which was really nice of them to do so, considering the fact that I only teach them 2 periods a week. Really thoughtful of them.

The real surprise was during the third period (my free period) where I was dragged to 2C, although I have already let Ms Lim take over the class during that period so that the students could complete their Lit test early instead of having to stay back after school to sit for it.

Oh yah, and before that, Aileen came. Kinda surprised she came, cause din hear that she was coming. She gave me this really huge thingy that she made by herself. I call that a thingy cause there isn't a better word to describe that. First, its huge. Like really huge. Den its like a card. And it has pages inside. Then there's a calendar inside the pages, plus her pictures. Anyway, its just hard to describe, but its really cool, cause she actually made the effort to try and remember all that had happened for the past 3 months or so. Really very sweet of her. But she had to buck up on her art summore. The stuck-on alphabets started dropping off within the first hour. Just like Meiying's card, where the fish (yeah, that popular fish in school) sticker fell off soon after I've read the card.

Back to the cool surprise. When I stepped in to 2C, I was really shocked, cause I din expect them to create such a big party. There were tidbits, drinks and a really tasty blackforest 2kg cake (which I heard was almost $50) as well. I was presented a really cute poster from the class, which was really very well done! I have to frame it up somehow and hang it somewhere. Maybe under the bed. Hahah, just kiddin lah! ;)Following that, Joelyn and gang actually gave me a big heart shaped cookie that they made by themselves the previous day. It was really thoughtful of them, since they must have spent quite some time doing that. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE COOKIE WAS TASTY! It was very nua(3) nua(3) and lau(4) huang(1), and it tasted kinda spoilt. And it was broken to pieces by the time I saw it. But of course, what's important is the effort, and I am really touched by that. So next time, just buy me cookies can already, cheaper and tastier.

I was touched then, but more of happy than emo. Then there was the usual candle blowing (dunno for wad) and the cake cutting and of course the mandatory cream on face act. Everything got on fine until I started to make my silly speech. Damn paiseh, almost cried when I made the speech, cause as I was speaking, all the old memories started flooding back. Like when Ashwynn and Kent gave me so much trouble in the beginning, Hazel always sleeping and not paying attention in my class, 2C singing me birthday songs, funny screenshots of Cheryl Fox during News in Class, Sentosa trips with them, Nurul winning the EL Oratorical Competition and more. I felt like I have gone through so much with them, although it was only 4 months. I really can't bear to leave them, but I have my personal reasons for quitting, and I had to stick to my decision, although I can't help but ponder whether I have made the right decision to quit.

Luckily I din cry in the end, cause Jerick, Shawn and gang kept coming from 2A to kacheow me, so the irritation in me overtook my sadness.

But when it was time to take photos, I noticed a couple of students crying. That was when I could not take it alr and I started to tear as well. At first it was still just a bit of tears, but when I went to 2A for lesson and started to talk to them I really started sobbing uncontrollably. Cause I knew that I wasn't teaching them well and I knew that a lot of them disliked English because of me and I never really did anything to make them learn. I had long adopted the defeatist attitude towards them, and I really felt very bad about it.

To my surprise, a lot of them started to quieten down and listen to what I had to say. And then tears started to flow from the students as well. In fact, by the time I had finished talking, more than half the class was sobbing already. And I myself was rather useless as well, being unable to stop my own crying.

Some came up to me and told me that I taught well. I hope that they really think so, but I just feel that I did not put in enough effort. If only I did something more. If only I just tried another approach. If only I just devoted more time to them. Maybe things would have been different. But its all too late. My only hope is that my students will understand the importance of English and start to learn from this day on.

Charmaine came up to me and apologised to me for cutting my hair in Term 1. To me, that was the best thing that I have ever received since I starting teaching in Nan Chiau. More than the celebration. More than my salary. I was really very touched by her apology, because I could see that she was really very sincere about the apology and I hope that this would humble her and mould her into the good person that I have always seen inside her. Charmaine, I have never borne a grudge against you. Whenever I shout at you or scold you, it's not because I dun like you. Its because I want you to understand the severity of the matter, be it not doing your homework or talking back to me. I dun mind if you scold me or call me vulgar names, because I know that you dun mean it when you say that. But you know that you have a short temper, and other people may not like what you say. I scold you so that you will know the consequence. It may not be the best method, but at least I tried. And I can see your improvement as the days progressed. And I am really grateful for your apology. I will carry that apology with me for the rest of my life, because I know that I have made a little difference in your life, and no amount of money can come close to having that kind of feeling. And to Wenli as well, you dun have to apologise, you are one of the best pupils in my class. You are such a loyal friend and a kindhearted person. You dun have to apologise for anything. To me, you are the best student any teacher can have. I am really glad to have taught you for the past 14 weeks.

Anyway, back to the topic. I was tearing so badly and 2A was crying and 2C was crying that the entire corridor outside was a commotion. Pupils from other classes were peering in to see what happened, and a lot of students were crowding outside my 2 classes. People were giving out tissues everywhere. It was really quite a scene. Hahah, and to think that I said I wun cry on my last day. On Aileen's last day, her 2D students were crying and I thought that was rather exaggerated. Now when its my turn, its even worse. Almost 50 mins of tears from me and my 2 classes. My hands were all numb from all the crying. And when the 2 classes greeted me goodbye for the last time, I was really very upset. No more strolling into class and turning off the fans and making students stand up and sit down repeatedly. No more making Nicholas and Ashwynn sit beside the dustbin. No more locking 2A in class for recess. No more making my classes put their fingers on their lips and pulling their ears. No more bickering with Kent. No more acting from Wee Kiat. No more stopping of fights. That's it. Nothing more.

Argh. Starting to feel emo again.

Once again, I am really glad to have taught my 2A, 2C, 2D, 2E and 2F. If given the chance to teach again, I would not want to change any of my classes. You are the best I've had! Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity to teach you guys and I have learnt a lot out of NCHS as well.

Thank you.